Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize