I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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