i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
