i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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