he was CRYING into my vagina
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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