I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Randomize
