I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
