I wanna bring you to show and tell
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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