dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize