ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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