I have demons in me.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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