and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
