Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
