At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
