why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
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