A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
