After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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