If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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