You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
