where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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