let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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