She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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