did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
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