i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
