All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
