Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
