i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i just google imaged poop.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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