Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
