Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
