We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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