we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize