More tranny stories later!
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
