Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize