i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
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