can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
