she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
