I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
