exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
