i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
