He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
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She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
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I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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