Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
