You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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