i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
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I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
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Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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