there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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