we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
