Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
