I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Also, beer. Big fan.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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