it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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