Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
