Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
