i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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