I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
