Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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