She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize