it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
