yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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